9
Mar 10
0

This post occurs in real time

The cast of 24, Season 5

The cast of 24, Season 5

Apart from a certain other comedy “about nothing”, 24 has been my favorite show since it came on the air. You could say I grew up with it, sort of, as 24 began its run in 2001 when I was a freshman in high school. For a while, the show served as my career inspiration, and while I no longer stick to watching it live, I don’t fall behind by more than a couple days unless absolutely necessary.

That said, you may think I’d be wrought with grief after reading that 24, after 8 seasons, will end its run. I’m not.

That’s not to say I won’t miss it. But here’s some good reasons for 24 ending.

  • All good stories have to come to an end. Ever wonder why the news gets worse ratings than scheduled TV? Ever wonder why Olympic hockey does so much better than NHL hockey? Because they end. People like having a feeling of closure, they like being satisfied, and they like feeling like progress is being made. If the story never ends, none of those three criteria are ever met.
  • The writers are out of ideas. Really, who can blame them? So far in eight seasons, Jack has faced the detonation of a 747, an assassination attempt, another assassination attempt, the death of his wife, jumping out of a plane minutes before it detonated a nuclear bomb in the desert, being tortured by some guys who want something no bigger than an SD card, finding out that two incompetent morons (a theme in CTU) lost said device, a heart attack in the middle of a shootout, a drug addiction, his partner dating his daughter, a biological attack on a hotel, a train explosion, his girlfriend and boss being kidnapped, a nuclear meltdown, another 747 being blown out of the sky by a US plane, the threat of nuclear missiles hitting Los Angeles, the death of David Palmer and Michelle Dessler within minutes of each other, a chemical attack on a mall, a chemical attack on a hospital, a chemical attack on CTU, the “death” of Tony via Christopher Henderson (that turncoat), the President of the United States being in on the terrorist conspiracy, being shipped to China for a while, coming back to a nuclear bomb blowing up Los Angeles, then going to Africa only to be attacked there, returning to a trial in the United States, being betrayed by Tony (who was really alive *wink*), inhaling a toxic bio-hazard only to survive via a dangerous surgery to his daughter. Now Jack’s a grandparent. Seriously. At some point he either has to die of a bullet wound or exhaustion. (Did I forget anything in that list?)
  • The subplots are simple and predictable. Dana’s story, this season, has been laughable. Even the worst subplot in existence (Kim v. Cougar) was better than this one. In fact, ever since Nina’s death, I would bet the 24 writers were looking for ways to bring her back; since she died, the show lost much of its unpredictability. Much of this, I believe, is the writers trying to write for a more mainstream audience who can’t process more complex characters or plots, something that happens when TV shows become popular. But when parts of the story become uninteresting, it’s only a matter of time until everything else becomes uninteresting.
  • Old shows never die, they just fade into syndication and Blu-ray releases. 24 is meant to be watched marathon-style, maybe more so than any other show in existence. Once-a-week drama is fun, but the best way to enjoy 24 is all at once. Cable rerun marathons and the upcoming Blu-ray box set will be a great way to do that.
  • George Mason did it best: blaze of glory, baby. Ending on a note of uncertainty is much less preferable to going out with a bang.

All that said, I’m thoroughly enjoying this season and I’ll miss it when it’s over. But for me, like high school, and college, change is inevitable, and all good things must come to an end. For me, I’ll be happy (and hopeful, for now) that the show went out on a high note instead of fading away.


P.S. For what it’s worth, my favorite season was season 3 for the computer attack, Nina’s death and Stephen Saunders. What was yours? Say so in the comments or somewhere where I post this.

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28
Feb 10
1

…not that there’s anything wrong with that!


If you’ve talked to me for any length of time you probably know that my favorite show of all time is Seinfeld. Not only do I own all nine seasons in the glorious digital nirvana that is DVD, I’ve probably seen each episode at least three times, and I’ve seen some of my favorites more than twenty. I can (and do) make Seinfeld references when appropriate (heck, who am I kidding, some of them are inappropriate too).

Because I’m hurting for a blogging topic (not that there’s anything wrong with that), and because we can all use a little humor, here’s my top 10 favorite Seinfeld episodes. (After the break, since there are a bunch of YouTube movies.)

18
Feb 10
0

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain

Like every winter, I’m anxious for this one to end. Not particularly because it’s been cold here in Columbia, SC, but because the end of winter means the beginning of baseball season. Pitchers and catchers for many teams reported to Spring Training today, and while the Indians aren’t required to report until next week, many of them are in Arizona already preparing for the upcoming season.

Which is why, when I read the title of this article, I smiled a bit and started to read.

16
Feb 10
3

Long may you run

Over the last couple years my blog has gone through a number of changes: the original migration from my McJournal account, to my migration to a custom domain, to a new look, to the most recent, a migration to WordPress.

One of the less visible changes, however, was the installation of Google Analytics about two years ago, on February 25, 2008, to be exact. Since then, I’ve been able to gauge where my visitors are reading from, what they like and where they came from on the Web. A couple of interesting things jumped out at me as I analyzed the data, and while I try not to do too many self-serving posts, I couldn’t resist this one. Hopefully you’ll see why later.

Overall

First, here’s the visitor graph for that entire two years:

Visitors graph since February 25, 2008

Most of the peaks (as you may imagine) came on days when I posted (or the day after, depending on how late the post was). The highest peak came when one of my posts was Reddited on the gaming subreddit.

Operating System

Operating system breakdown since February 25, 2008

This graph shows a breakdown of the operating systems visitors are using to view the site. In general I think the viewing audience of this site is skewed away from Windows more than the norm, but Windows still holds the vast majority with Mac OS X and Linux not far behind. I found it interesting that 2.3% of my visitors were using the iPhone OS via either an iPod Touch or an iPhone, showing that the mobile platforms are certainly gaining traction. I’m not sure what a “Danger Hiptop” is, but wherever you are, thanks for visiting! (Once, apparently. Was it something I said?)

Browser

Browser breakdown since February 25, 2008

Browser breakdown since February 25, 2008

Now it really starts to get interesting. Apparently Firefox is my readers’ most popular choice. This surprises me because Firefox has never been my favorite browser, and I really only used it as my primary browser for a few months at work (where, as you might imagine, I don’t frequent my own blog). However, I also know that a little less than halfway through this reporting period I switched default browsers on all of my Windows machines to Google Chrome from IE 7. I think this sort of weakened those two browser’s numbers a bit (kind of like Ralph Nader and the democrats). Firefox, IE and Chrome make up the top three with Safari (including iPhone Safari) coming in fourth. Lesser known browsers such as Camino and Konqueror round out the bottom.

International location

International visitors since February 25, 2008

Obviously most of my visitors come from the United States, but I’ve certainly made a dent in other countries as well, including all six populated continents. I have yet to crack the Great Firewall of China (I wrote a paper (PDF) trashing that firewall back in 2008, I’m not surprised no one from there has found me), but most of Europe and North America have visited, along with parts of South America and Asia. In terms of rankings (not pictured), the U.S. ranks first, followed by Canada, India, the United Kingdom and Australia.

US location

US visitors since February 25, 2008

Now this is where things get really interesting for me. As you can see, I’ve had visitors from every U.S. state except North Dakota. I want this blog to have been read in all 50 states, so if you have friends in North Dakota, tell them to read this once and it’s a personal favor to me. Seriously. Just once. In terms of state ranking, Ohio is first, followed by New York (on the right of that picture), South Carolina, Pennsylvania (sorry Amanda, I don’t have a picture of you handy), and Indiana (on the left).

In all seriousness though, it’s been really fun writing, ranting and raving the past few years. No matter where you’re reading from, no matter what browser you choose or what OS you use, thank you. I write most of this stuff for me, but it’s very gratifying that others other than myself seem to like it. Thanks again for reading, and as always, I look forward to my next post.

3
Feb 10
1

Kill all the f*gs that don’t agree

President Obama delivers his first State of the Union speech.

This may be a slightly controversial post (heck, it’s already a slightly controversial title – my first censor!), but I feel there are some things that need to be said. Last week, in his first State of the Union address, President Obama promised a resolution to a somewhat old, somewhat under-the-radar issue:

This year, I will work with Congress and our military to finally repeal the law that denies gay Americans the right to serve the country they love because of who they are. It’s the right thing to do.

With the economy in the tank, the healthcare bill on life support and his approval numbers free-falling, what Obama did here was clearly distraction politics, getting Americans focused on something where Obama was not at a low point.

But that said, the issue was brought up, and immediately was picked up by the Democratic majority looking for a win (with a major Colin Powell endorsement today), so it’ll be an issue at least for the foreseeable future.

Make no mistake: it’s an important issue. The number of public (that is, “outed”) homosexuals in the United States is estimated as high as 22% and growing, due to homosexuality’s increased (although incomplete) acceptance into the social norm.

For a long time, gay people have wanted to serve their country in the armed forces, an admirable desire to be sure. For decades, gay people had faced persecution, hatred and witch hunts when serving in the military. On July 20, 1993, Bill Clinton reached what he called a compromise, allowing gay people to serve in the military, provided they…you know, didn’t do “gay things”. Clinton said he wasn’t happy with it, but some level of change was necessary and the Joint Chiefs would not budge further than they did. The executive order allowed gay people to serve in the military legally, albeit secretly, and would end the investigations that cost millions of taxpayer dollars.

Why was the compromise necessary? Clinton justified it as “protecting the morale” of the heterosexual troops.

I’ll say that again: “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t pursue” was originally ordered to “protect” the heterosexual bigots who had a problem serving with gays in the military. This is rather like opening a school that’s only open to white people, to protect them from the other races.

As I think about it, it’s amazing to me that such discrimination was (and is) considered tolerable for so long. But whereas racism had it’s “Rosa Parks moment” (with the actual Rosa Parks moment itself), homophobia has never had such a story. Seemingly no one wants to talk about homosexuality – maybe it’s harder to understand than race, maybe it’s just a more delicate subject (you can really only be openly black, for example; there is no “in the closet” for being black).

In any case, President Obama is right: it’s time to end “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.” Until it is scientifically proven that a gay person can’t shoot a gun as accurately as a straight person, until it’s proven that a gay person is less patriotic than a straight person, until it’s proven that a straight person can actually get AIDS just by being in the same foxhole as a gay person, there should be no difference in how gay people are treated vs. how straight people are treated in the United States military.

Not only is it time we stop censoring gays in the military, but it’s time we stop protecting bigots in the military. I don’t think the problem is as widespread as some would have you believe, but the fact is that some straight people (in all circles, not just the military) are homophobic and this leads to acts based in fear, discomfort or anger. These acts should be punished in the military just as they are in normal society: nothing but respect should be tolerated in the military.

And conversely, while gay people should be allowed to openly serve in the military, they should do so with professionalism. Being in the military is a job, in fact it’s the most important job there is, and it should be treated with the same professionalism that one would treat a corporate job with an HR department and performance reviews.

So there it is. For those of you who know me, this post may come as a surprise to you since I’m not siding with Republicans (or most conservatives) on this matter. But honestly, the more I thought about this issue the more I came to realize that one’s sexual preference should not take precedence over one’s desire to serve. That doesn’t mean “Don’t ask, don’t tell”; it means diversity should be embraced and celebrated (to use the Office cliché), while discrimination and homophobia (or xenophobia, or whatever) should be discouraged and punished.


Note: A couple times while writing this article I made a typo and typed “Don’t ask, don’t Dell”. I think Apple should use this as their marketing slogan and I’m willing to talk price whenever.

Another note: The title, like many of my blog posts, is a lyric from a song I enjoy, “Holiday”, by Green Day. Take nothing more from it than that.

27
Jan 10
4

Ignorance like a gun in hand

Sometimes you’re not even looking for a blog topic and one just smacks you in the face.

I got a call from a cousin this evening who reported that both her e-mail and Facebook account had been hacked. I personally set up the e-mail account (circa 1999) with a very basic password. To this day it had not been changed, and a simple derivative of that password was used for her Facebook account. Thus, while I don’t know for sure how the accounts were hacked, I can infer that when one fell, the other did as well. This hacker had changed the passwords to both of her accounts, leaving her locked out.

I told my cousin how to go about regaining access to her accounts, and hung up the phone. But my mind dwelled a bit – for years, I’ve used the same password on most of my accounts. This password isn’t particularly complex (normally scores a medium when it goes through a password meter), but I’ve rested easy knowing that most account hacking comes through phishing these days, and I’m pretty smart about what I click.

It occurred to me though, that my publicly accessible username to many sites is the same I use to log in, making a potential password cracker’s job half as hard (if you’re trying to get into a lock, it’s hard if you don’t have the key, but it’s even harder when you don’t know where the lock is).

Thus, there were a lot of things working against me: searching my name in Google yields at least 4 pages of search results related to my “web presence” (sorry about the word choice, Mike), I used the same password across most of those services, and that password wasn’t incredibly strong to begin with. That doesn’t even account for the possibility of another RockYou (and let’s face it: the odds for are much greater than the odds against).

So I decided it was time, and set about changing my passwords to all my major accounts (the ones I really care about, anyway). I started with Facebook, moved to my e-mail and Twitter and then my banks.

(Seriously, how messed up is my thought process? And make fun of me if you must, but you know your priorities are exactly the same.)

So I got to my online credit card account. I have a Starbucks Duetto Visa, which is administered by Chase, so I went to chase.com, logged in, and after noticing one of my phone numbers was no longer correct and fixing it, set about changing my password. I chose my password, entered my old one, and entered the new one twice.

Here was the response:

I thought I must have done something wrong at first, but sure enough, after closer inspection of the password change form, I found:

What. The. Crap. I understand the fourth one. The last one doesn’t really make a lot of sense since Chase doesn’t enforce a regular password change anyway. I can understand the second one, but while good practice, the fact that you’re limited like that hurts your password’s security statistically. My confusion in this post, however, is mostly directed at bullet points 1 and 3 here.

Firstly, let’s cover what those two points imply. This means (in all likelihood, anyway) that either my Chase password is stored in plaintext in whatever database they use, or it’s two-way encrypted: that is, given an unencrypted password it can create a ciphertext, and given that same ciphertext it can reproduce your original password.

Non-developers may wonder what the alternative here is: the alternative is a hash, which is a one-way encryption algorithm that, given a plaintext password, can easily make a ciphertext, but given a ciphertext, cannot or cannot easily reproduce the original password. So when you log in to site using a a one-way encrypted password, the site knows how to generate that encrypted text from your password, and simply compares the encrypted text.

So here’s the downside: what if you forget your password? It’s really hard to get back to the plaintext password just given the ciphertext password, so really the only option is to reset the password to some random new password, somehow communicate what that password to you, and let you log in and change it to something you know.

But the upside: storing a one-way encrypted password is easier. For the most part, one-way encryption produces a ciphertext that is the same length each time, making the design of the database easier and more predictable. Also, most one-way functions produce a ciphertext that is simply a number.

Here’s what that means: type in a password of any length, with any symbols you want, and the encryption function and your database can handle it. You don’t need to worry about capping your users’ password length or limiting the symbols they use. Facebook, Twitter, and other sites that don’t limit your password (within reason) use one-way encryption. Based on the errors shown here, it’s clear that Chase uses two-way.

Chase isn’t the only site to do it. In fact, most enterprise sites limit your password length (although, not letting you use symbols is a low blow). But why? By letting in a wider variety of passwords, your Facebook password is potentially safer than your bank password. Is this really what we want?

I understand that banks need to use stronger encryption (and the strongest algorithms are two-way, but take a long time to implement and execute, so are only used when necessary), but why not one-way encrypt the ciphertext of the two-way encrypted password? To me, this seems like the best of both worlds: the speed and flexibility of the one-way encryption; the increased security of two-way encryption.

The only thing this loses, I think, is the ability to simply tell the user their old password if they forget it. Is that what banks are afraid of?

As a postscript, I managed to find a password that is secure for my credit card account. But statistically, my coins in FarmVille (if I played that game) and the status of my pokes on Facebook are safer than my credit card details and transactions. Something is definitely wrong here.

24
Jan 10
2

I’m just a stranger on this road

Ever since graduating in May 2009, I’ve struggled for blogging material. I’m not sure if I simply had more time to get out in the world or on the Internet and form opinions on more stuff, or maybe it’s just that now I simply have said most of what I wanted to say. Whatever it is, I’d like to try to blog more, even if the articles themselves aren’t the best.

That said, this particular topic is one that I’ve had on my mind for a while, and it’s seemed to only intensify over the last few weeks. This topic is: driving. More specifically: bad driving.

SC-277, the source of most of my driving rage.Bad driving is a topic I have covered before, but rather than making this one just about city driving, I’ll try and make this a general purpose guide for how to tick me off on the road. So, without further ado, here we go:

Drive more better: some guidelines for being “that guy” on the highway

  • Drive below the speed limit. And not a couple miles below either. Make sure you’re going 35 in a 45, 15 in a 35, etc., so that everyone behind you is cursing more than your average rap song. Don’t let the fact that you’re not towing anything, that you’re driving a car in good working condition, or really don’t have any excuse to be driving too slow: do it just because.

    Fun variations on this guideline include driving 10 under up until you see a green light turn yellow, then accelerating through the intersection to leave the guy behind you stuck at a red, or ignoring a speed zone change (i.e. a 35 MPH zone becomes a 45 MPH zone) by going exactly the same speed.

  • Leisurely accelerate down the on-ramp while getting on the freeway. After all, there’s no hurry. It’s completely your right-of-way when merging on, so if you’re going 25 MPH the cars behind you will just have to deal.

    Think about it this way: when you fly somewhere in a commercial jet, does the pilot blast you up to full throttle to take off without using the entire runway? Noooooo. After all, that wouldn’t be professional, and the real goal isn’t safely getting in the air, its making sure that your passengers don’t feel a thing. Don’t listen to those idiots who claim you need to match your speed on the on-ramp whenever possible.

  • While on the freeway, drive as slowly as possible in the left lane so other cars can’t pass you. I find it’s best to work in teams here: find someone who’s in the right lane going at maximum 5 miles per hour under the speed limit, drive up to them in the left lane and drive along with them for a few (hundred) miles. Highways aren’t made for getting somewhere fast; they’re made for getting somewhere fun, and what better fun is there than making a new friend? The people behind you honking their horns don’t know what they’re doing NOW, but eventually they’ll learn this too.
  • When getting off the freeway, slow down to about half the speed limit about five miles before your exit, just to make sure your brakes are working. To use the airplane metaphor again, do airplane pilots land their plane on the runway every time? Noooooo. What fun is that? Landing miles before the runway is exciting for the passengers and challenging for you. The same principle applies when getting off the freeway: slowing down gives the drivers behind you a chance to make sure their brakes work and makes sure they’re awake. Plus, you have plenty of time to send your obligatory “I’m getting off the highway” text message to each of your 300 cell phone contacts individually. Which leads me to my next point:
  • OMG txt as much as possible!! ;-) No one likes driving alone. Even when you have passengers in the car, it’s not really a party unless you’re in constant social contact with at least 15 friends. Watching the road is for newbie drivers, not seasoned veterans like you.
  • Know your Art of War:
    Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night, and when you move, fall like a thunderbolt.

    Headlights, turning signals, and following the rules of the road lets your enemies know where you are. It’s important to not use any of these “training wheels” designed for drivers less skilled than you. It’s pretty much guaranteed that anyone who’s behind you is a spy working for enemy intelligence services: don’t give them any help.

  • Finally, your political beliefs are important. Make sure you have enough bumper stickers so that everyone knows where you stand. Conclude that everyone who does not share your political belief is an enemy, so you should use one of the previous tactics to aggravate them as much as possible.

Follow these steps and you’re sure to make your journey a little longer, sure, but significantly more entertaining.

(P.S. I’m kidding. Don’t do any of this. Please.)

23
Jan 10
0

‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now…

Last night, I tuned in to The Tonight Show for Conan O’Brien’s final show. His last two weeks have been well-documented, well-sympathized and well-protested, so for the most part I’m going to focus on last night’s show.

  • As usual (especially lately), Conan’s monologue was brilliant. He’s at his best when he’s berating himself, and while a lot of his jokes have come at NBC’s expense, it’s seemed that he’s saved the best stuff for himself, like joking about his unemployment (which is sure to be as brief as legally allowed) and suggestions for his next job.
  • I loved the montage, set to “Surrender” by Cheap Trick, exactly like his cold open when he started hosting The Tonight Show. It was fun to watch and reminisce and gave the impression of a guy who loved his job.
  • Conan’s last couple weeks were marked with some marquee guests, and Tom Hanks was no different. My favorite moment was when Hanks offered Conan a drink, and after taking a sip, Conan said, “This is creme soda. I think it’s diet creme soda.”
  • Conan’s musical guest was Neil Young. I’m not familiar with much of his library, but his song choice was appropriate and reminded me heavily of Jay Leno’s last tonight show, when James Taylor played “Sweet Baby James”.
  • Probably my favorite part of the whole episode was the thank you speech, particularly these lines:

    To all the people watching, I can never thank you enough for your kindness to me and I’ll think about it for the rest of my life. All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people: please don’t be cynical. I hate cynicism, for the record, it’s my least favorite quality and it doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen.

    The rest of his speech was a classy thank you and farewell, but this part seemed to say he wasn’t intending on becoming another David Letterman, who’s been bitter ever since being denied The Tonight Show years and years ago. For me, I couldn’t agree more with his statement.

  • The final number was Will Ferrell and other musical guests covering “Free Bird” (with Ferrell in costume) and Conan rocking the guitar solo. A heartfelt, hilarious, epic ending to a show that was too short.

Wherever and whenever Conan decides to come back on television, I’ll be tuning in. But that’s not to say I’ll boycott NBC, Jay Leno or others. As Conan himself seemed to understand, sometimes bad things happen, and when they do, it’s best to count your blessings and make the best of a good situation.

In closing, here’s one of my favorite Tonight Show bits:

9
Jan 10
0

One must put up barriers to keep oneself intact

Buster Olney wrote an article today (which, incidentally, is available only to ESPN Insider readers. Or you can take my word for it.), in which he asserted that baseball writers should not have the privilege of casting Hall of Fame ballots. Olney is quick to point out that he has this privilege, but he still feels it shouldn’t be up to the writers.

I agree, and there are three players who should be in the Hall but probably won’t be, unless another group of voters is selected:

  • Mark McGwire. Potential the original steroid abuser? Sure. Controversial for his non-statements after his career? Sure. Feared hitter? Definitely. Hall of Fame nominees are supposed to get your vote if they are the most dominant player at their position in their era. McGwire didn’t win many Gold Gloves (he actually got one, in 1990, I learned after some research) at first base but for a few years in the 90s, he was the most feared hitter in the game. He broke the single season home run mark that had stood for 37 years, but more importantly he hit 583 home runs in his career – many of them long before his biceps blew up like balloons.
  • Barry Bonds. Perhaps the most controversial player in the 2000s, it can’t be argued that Barry Bonds is the all-time career home run leader (762) and single season home run leader (73). If you still have doubt that Bonds was the most feared hitter of his era, he was intentionally walked the most times of any player in history – by nearly 400.
  • Pete Rose. To me, this is even more of a slam dunk than McGwire or Bonds. The only reason Rose isn’t in the Hall is for gambling on baseball while he was a manager. This shouldn’t take away his achievements as a player, which includes being the all-time hit leader with 4,256, or having the second longest hitting streak in history at 44. It’d be like if Tiger Woods were barred from the golf Hall of Fame (I assume there is one, and that it’s the same sort of organization as baseball’s) for having too many affairs.

Here’s the point Olney makes and I agree with: writers have agendas. The baseball writers are still upset that they were swindled into the steroids era, and are exacting their revenge on anyone who used or was accused of being on steroids. In Rose’s case, the situation is a little bit different because technically, Rose is banned from baseball, but as the Hall of Fame is a separate organization, they could elect him if they really wanted to.

And another thing: why did it take the writers 15 years to decide Jim Rice was a Hall of Famer? Or what about Burt Blyleven, who’s been on the ballot for 11 years and next year, should finally make it in? What makes him better next year? To me, this is also a sign of voters with an agenda and not voting for the best players of their era. If you’re voting for the best, vote totals should only decrease – you may decide someone is more deserving than that player, but you shouldn’t ever often decide “you know what, this old guy was actually pretty good, I’ll vote for him over this new guy.”

So who should vote? I think it should be all active Major League players with 5+ years of service. These are players who are likely to have played against the newest nominees – who would be better at determining who is the most dominant of their era?

Being elected to the baseball Hall of Fame is the greatest individual honor any player can receive. Let’s take the politics out of it.

25
Dec 09
3

Up, up and away

I’ve struggled to try and write some sort of year in review post for a couple nights now and since the political side of 2009 just kind of ticked me off, I decided I’d stay away from politics and stick to what I know (or at least know better): movies. (This may be part 1, I just realized I could write a lot about the sports year too.) So without further ado, here’s a list of the top 5 movies I saw this year.

5 – 2012


I know, I know, 2012 probably doesn’t make many people’s top ten lists, much less the top five. But here’s the deal: I saw a bunch of movies (particularly in the fall) that promised they’d be funny, or promised they’d be awesome, and they weren’t. Here’s a fall movie which promised “stuff’s gonna’ go down” and what do you know, stuff went down.

The story behind the reason for the 2012 apocalypse was mediocre at best. The family drama was unnecessary. The political drama behind letting citizens aboard at the end felt kind of staged. The hippie conspiracy theorist the family met while camping was unnecessary. But the special effects left nothing to be desired and were worth every cent of my $9.50 I paid to see this movie on the big screen. I particularly liked the aircraft carrier smashing down on Washington and the shots of Vegas in shambles, but I was a little disappointed that big cities such as New York, Chicago, and yes, Cleveland weren’t included. But then again, it’s only a two hour movie – not everyone’s apocalypse dreams could be realized.

Sometimes, you go to the theater hoping to see a deep movie that causes you to reflect, put yourself in the characters’ shoes, and discuss the movie later. But if you went to the theater expecting a simple movie where stuff went down, you didn’t want to be the characters at all and all you could say on the way home with your friends was “That <insert awesome explosion here> was awesome!”, 2012 was the best of the year.

4 – Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

I’ll be honest: I didn’t see Transformers until this summer, after Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was already out. I watched the original Transformers with a lukewarm reaction, but hey, stuff blowing up is cool, so I decided to go see Revenge of the Fallen.

Oddly enough, I liked Revenge of the Fallen far more than the first movie, and though I’ve grown to like the first movie more, I still think the second movie is more entertaining. Part of my original problems with Transformers is that I felt like it wasn’t sure whether it was a sci-fi thriller or just a stupid action movie, and while the original struggled, Revenge of the Fallen clearly knows its a stupid action movie.

I liked Rainn Wilson’s cameo, but I loved John Torturro in this movie (“ONE MAN! ALONE! ABANDONED BY THE COUNTRY HE LOVES! NOW ITS ONLY HOPE FOR SURVIVAL!”) probably more than the leads. His over-the-top humorous portrayal of former Sector 7 agent Simmons was a microcosm of the movie: realizing its purpose as a dumb action movie that’s just fun to watch.

3 – District 9

District 9 kind of snuck up on me. Here’s a movie that was directed by Peter Jackson, and I don’t think I really heard of it until seeing it on a trailer about a month before the movie came out. District 9 came out the same week as Inglorious Basterds, and I chose Basterds over District 9 in the opening week. I wasn’t impressed with Basterds, but loved District 9 when I went back to see it the next week.

I think one of the things that sets this movie apart is its locale. Johannesburg, South Africa was chosen, I think, for budgetary reasons, but it really works well here because it juxtaposes South Africa, which most is foreign to most of my readers with an even more foreign society, creating this completely alien world which is almost so surreal that it feels realistic.

But not only is the premise and the location great, the story itself is excellent as well and deals with the age-old themes of speciesism and racism in a movie that’s really action-packed. District 9 was a movie from which I wasn’t sure what to expect, but it ended up being one of the better movies I saw this year.

2 – The Hangover

The Hangover (2009)This movie seemed like a cookie-cutter premise. Seriously, tell me if you’ve heard this one before: four guys get kind of wasted in Vegas, stuff happens, eventually everything works out. But despite that, this movie was the funniest movie I saw this year (and possibly in quite a few years).

Maybe it’s the performances of the four leads, maybe it’s the cameo by Mike Tyson, maybe it’s Ken Jeong’s arrival onto the comedy scene. In my opinion, it was how the viewer was dropped into events without having any clue what happened, just like the characters. That’s what took The Hangover, a movie with a decent premise and decent potential into an instant classic.

1 – Up

Up is my choice for the best movie of 2009.

I’ll be honest: I went into this movie expecting to be wowed. Pixar hasn’t produced a loser yet, and for me, anyway, Pixar seems to alternate between movies I absolutely love and movies I really really like: Monsters, Inc. was a movie I absolutely loved, Finding Nemo was a movie I really really liked, The Incredibles was a movie I absolutely loved, Cars liked, Ratatouille loved, Wall-E liked. So Pixar was due to make a movie I absolutely loved, and they absolutely came through.

The mark of any great movie, in my opinion, is one that has the ability to take over your emotions and run them like a roller coaster. After the first 20 minutes of Up I wasn’t sure how the story could possibly end happily, but just over an hour later my heart was warmed and the movie ended as happily and realistically as a movie about a house that floats away could.

The movie was also a complete joy to simply look at. Other production companies have made great looking movies too, but for some reason Pixar not only wins in this department every time, but they make stories that are just as good as or better than the great images. They’re stories that work with great CGI animation but could work just as well with live-action acting or standard animation.


So there you have it: my favorite movies in a year filled with good ones. Did I miss any of your favorites? Let me know in the comments.